Falling Slowly

Scotty and I have decided to move in together. And, as you already know, we have found the perfect apartment complex that we wish to move to. Considering my past, moving in with someone is huge for me. HUGE. And I am scared to death. This is a leap of faith I'm terrified of taking again, last time, I fell only to be shattered at the bottom of a dark empty hole.

I moved in with my ex fiance about two months after we met. Not completely by choice. His lease was up, and my roommates were abandoning me in the middle of our lease. I didn't drive at the time and he felt bad for me, so we moved in together. About a year later he proposed, and then 4 months before the wedding he left. We were together nearly two years, living together for most of them. It felt like a divorce, minus the legal paperwork. I ended up with less than half of our possessions and broke. He moved on very quickly, while I had to move back in with my parents and shortly after that lost my job. That year was a rough year for me, but I learned a lot from my experiences.

I love Scotty, and I can't wait to marry him. But I also thought I loved my ex, and we were planning our wedding. Deja Vu keeps kicking in and I shut down for a bit. Scotty does his best to reassure me, and I believe him when he says he loves me, he'll never leave me, and that we are in this together for better or worse. His sincerity touches me and a strong, secure feeling warms my body from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Scotty has even suggested that we draw up a contract that we are equally responsible for all bills related to the apartment, binding for 30 days after a separation or until we get married. But the "what ifs" are still in the back of my mind and I can't shake them completely.

In the past few days, the "what ifs" have quieted down. Things we've been a little worried about are falling into place. Items we need for our new apartment are suddenly appearing: a new bed, a dining room table, new bedside tables, a moving crew, a washer and dryer, and God knows what else will spring up between now and our moving date. It's like this is meant to be and fate is taking over making my worries soften and disappear. As each day passes, I feel better and  about making this step and starting this life with Scotty.

I especially can't wait to have our new bed :)

All images via weheartit.com

We're Engaged!

That's right! As of yesterday (Thursday, April 19, 2012) at about 6:45am!

I had an inkling that it was coming, but I didn't know when. Scotty had been trying to sneakily ask about my ring size and what not last weekend and early this week. Then yesterday morning, after my second of four alarms (it takes a lot for me to wake up in the morning) Scotty rolls over and snuggles up to spoon me.

He whispers, "Hey, are you awake?"
I sleepily opened my eyes a bit and croaked in my just-woke-up-why-are-you-trying-to-converse-with-me voice, "I'm coherent. Why?"
"I've got something for you."
I rolled my eyes. I could feel his morning boner pressed against my butt. Oh lord, we don't have time for all of that. I've got to get up for work and make lunches for us. I thought to myself, but out loud I said, "What is it?"
Scotty slides his hand down the length of my arm.
Seriously, we don't have time for this. I groaned internally.
When his hand reached mine, he fumbled for a tiny moment, (I found out afterwards he was counting my fingers in the dark, to make sure he got the right one) then slipped a ring on my finger. "Nicole, will you marry me?"
A HUGE smile spread across my face. "Yes!" I rolled over and kissed him madly.

We lay there talking for a moment, awake earlier than usual. So happy. Then in a fit of passion and love, we hastily undressed and had a quickie before getting up and dressed for work. I wore my current favorite outfit to compliment the most perfect ring ever. I was trying not to bring attention to it at the office, cause I wanted to tell my mom later that morning before telling everyone else, but that didn't happen. One person noticed and then there was a swarm of well wishers surrounding me. I'm not one to enjoy being the center of attention like that, so I was slightly uncomfortable all morning. The hype died down a bit by the afternoon.

The ring is perfect. Exactly what I wanted. Being a normal warm-blooded women on Pinterest, I've been Pinning my wedding ideas and such for months. And this ring, and variations of it have flooded my Wedding Idea's board. Scotty is on Pinterest too, and he follows me. So, I just assumed that he perused my wedding board to get inspiration, but when I mentioned it to him, he looked at me confused. So I pulled up my Pinterest and showed him. There were at least six on this exact style pinned. He was so pleased with himself for choosing the perfect ring that I wanted without help, and I was amazed and fell that much more in love with him for knowing me so well to be able to choose this ring all by his self.

Soon I was bombarded with excited, congratulatory text messages, tweets, and phone calls. Scotty's boss got him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations Scotty and Nicole!" on it. And I'm almost positive my office will do something for me at some point.

We are both so happy, as are our families and friends. And now to the fun bit of making wedding plans. I can't wait to start!

TMI Tuesday: Love, Hate, and Guilty Secrets

Today’s fun TMI Tuesday questions were submitted by Jz from “A Reluctant Bitch” blog. Enjoy!

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Love, Hate, and Guilty Secrets. We never mind telling people about things we love or hate, but how about the things we love, but would hate for anyone to find out about?

Well, it’s time to free yourself of that fear!

For each of the categories below, list one thing you love, one that you hate, and then, take a deep breath and tell us something you hate to admit you love.

Really.
You’ll feel better for it!

Nicole's Answers Scotty's Answers

1. Food
I love Chocolate.
          Peanut butter
I hate Peppers of any kind.  
          I got nothing
My guilty secret is that I can eat an entire can of Lays Stax in one day (not it one sitting). 
                             I will eat an entire 1lb. bag of cheese cubes before I realize.



2. Apparel
I love Shoes and Dresses 
          Shoes and Ties
I hate Horizontal Stripes 
         V-Neck T-shirts and Skinny Jeans
My guilty secret is that I would rather wear one of Scotty's old T-shirts than a sexy tank top to bed.
                              I only wear one brand,style,and color of boxers




3. Books
I love Jane Austen novels
          Science Fiction


I hate non-fiction political crap
          Teeny bopper love stories


My guilty secret is  that I have read the Twilight Saga... multiple times... and loved it.
                              Hers is guilty enough for both of us!




4. Songs
I love songs that I can relate to.
          Almost everything
I hate not being able to understand what the artist is saying.
          noise not music
My guilty secret is that I actually like Just Bieber's new song "Boyfriend"
                              I love 60's and 70's love songs.




5. Movie
I love Pride and Prejudice. It's my absolute favorite movie.
          Anything that has Kevin Smith
I hate horror/scary movies
          Same  really.
My guilty secret is I am collecting all the hand drawn animated Disney movies for my future children.
                             I've seen the Notebook and I really do enjoy it



6. TV Show
I love GCB on Sunday nights, as well as Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother.
          The Big Bang Theory,Eureka!,Sanctuary....Geek TV really
I hate that I always forget when my shows come on without a reminder on my phone.
          Trashy reality television 
My guilty secret is I watch marathons of America's Next Top Model and RuPaul's Drag Race whenever I can.
                             I like to watch hoarders and Intervention marathons 



7. Celebrity Crush
I love to watch a shirtless Channing Tatum in Nicholas Sparks movies.
          Gwen Stefani
I hate Lady Gaga and all her crazy antics.
         Reality tv stars
My guilty secret is I wish I could be a guest host on my favorite morning radio show and become a local celebrity and have everyone crush on me.
                             no clue


8. Music Group
I love Hanson :) Yep. Don't judge me!
          Blink-182
I hate Sugarland
          Greenday
My guilty secret is I still listen to my old Nsync albums from time to time. I know all the words :)
                              I do know a few boy band songs


9. Sports Team
I love the Braves! 
          Atlanta Falcons
I hate the Yankees :( boooooo
         New Orleans Saints
My guilty secret is <3 Red Sox :) 
                               Boston Red Sox




Bonus:
Sex Position or Sex Act or fetish
I love to be taken from behind (ie: doggy style or bent over the bed)
          Doggy Style
I hate anal... it's an exit, not an entrance.
          ?????
My guilty secret is I get off from Scotty climaxing.
                             I like a little pain

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!

And another thing...

So I've been working on two drafts since we started the blog and its been driving me crazy. I didn't know how I would come off and other pointless feelings about blogging. So what I'm going to do is what I do best. Keep it honest,short, and semi-sweet.

 I love Nicole. That's all I need to know. We haven't been together long but all my feelings are pointing towards soul mate and I'm not afraid to say that. I know she is a little more reserved about telling people what we say behind closed doors and that's fine, but it isn't me.

 Why should I care what others are thinking?  PROBABLY SHOULDN'T
 Am I happy?  YEP
Is she happy?  UH HUH
Do we feel the same for each other? YEAH BUDDY
 yes. yes. yes.

 So that was all yeses and I know that we will make it through everything together. I am not afraid to say that she is my world. have a huge case of the I don't give a damns regarding the feelings of others on my relationship. We win.

 With all of that said I would like to thank you for visiting the blog. I think typing the above has killed the anxiety of blogging about something so personal and I will be posting regularly as well as the couples posts with Nicole.

Keep on keepin' on,
 Scotty